Composition Mistakes

Logic:

1. The clouds were blocking the sun intensive rays, leaving the sky as fine as it could ever be. How can it be fine if you have clouds blocking the sun?
2. One evening, as ominous clouds started to form, I was doing my school homework. There is no link between clouds forming and doing homework!
3. Many of you wrote that the pickpocket/burglars were sent to jail by the police. Logically speaking, the criminals were sent to the police station first.

Sentence phrasing
1. Tom took out his luggage slowly out of the taxi’s boot. (X)
[Tom took his luggage out of the taxi’s boot slowly. ]

2. I and my mother.... (X)
[My mother and I....]

3. I quickly called the police... (X)
[I called the police immediately..]

4. One of the policeman...(X)
[One of the policemen...]

5. From under the sofa, I took out.... [X]
[I took out... from under the sofa. ]

6. ...nearby cafe... (X)
[...cafe nearby...]


Vocabulary usage & spelling

1. Scorching sun
2. Immediately
3. hesitant
4. Thief
5. Retrieve
6. Jewelleries
7. Stretched! (Many spelt streched.)
8. thought/ taught
9. maintenance
10. malfunction
11. traumatizing
12. explanation

Remarks:

1. Double paragraph strokes (//) is for me to tell you to start a new paragraph, not for you to use it freely while writing.
2. Counting numbers; some of you got carried away and wrote the numbers at the end of the paragraph. DO NOT do it in the exams.
3. Paragraphs are still too long, remember, try to have one main point in each paragraph.
4. The same goes for sentences, do not try to squeeze all your details into one sentence.
5. Do not miss out essential information from the pictures. Many of you can describe very vividly about the weather (which was not featured in the pictures) but I still have a handful of you missing the gist of the story completely!
6. Balance between what is too much and too little: Do I need to know who brought what into the airport? Do I need to know what was everyone wearing on that day? Go straight to the point, what should the main story be about? This is especially so for the picture writing component, if the picture shows that it is the girl that tripped the boy, then do not write otherwise!
7. Tenses! Know when to use your past tense and past perfect!
8. ***Ending your story: One good way to end your story is to write down your lesson learnt, what you/ the protagonist gained from the whole event.

Last words;

PLAN & RE-READ YOUR STORY.

Plan before you write. Know what is the gist of your story, identify the main points. After you are done with your composition, read through it again. Does it make sense? Have you used the correct tenses? Check your spelling and punctuation!

Do not write long prose for the sake of hitting your 300 word target. The minimum word count is 120 which I think most of you can do it. But you tend to write and describe too much unnecessary details till the point where you missed the story completely.